I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
whose ass print is on the piano?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
