I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
