Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
