i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
