oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
