Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
