you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
