just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
