you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
