if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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