It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
