problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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