so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
