Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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