You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
