so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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