then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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