don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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