You can't motorboat a personality
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
