PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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