Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
