he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
