i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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