MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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