i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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