This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
