I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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