last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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