I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I will die if light touches me.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
