Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
