what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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