We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
