there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
