Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
how can u be prego again
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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