I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize