goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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