i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
