Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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