saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
smell my finger.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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