Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
