Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
