:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
