I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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