you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
