i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
