no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
