does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
