did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize