If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
