So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
