So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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