I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize