How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize