Just cropdusted the office
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
