I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Come on in and take your pants off
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