He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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