He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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