..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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