Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
