All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
