honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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