Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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