the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
