i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
