I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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