obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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