HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
