I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
