we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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