Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i think i have two assholes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize