worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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