we have officially lost it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
