I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
dude. I can hear the air.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
