38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
