then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize