In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
