hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
